When I am an old lady...

 


When I am an old lady, I shall wear yellow sweaters and blue shoes. 

I shall pluck flowers from the neighbor's garden and wear them on my hair

I'll spit in the streets and fight with the lady next door

I shall chuckle and laugh and sing out of rhyme and make up my own words

I'll sneer at the young lovers on the sidewalk and chase them with a broom

the neighborhood kids will know me as the old weird lady who murmurs to herself on her way home

I'll pretend to have a stroke ever so often just to get the attention of passengers 

then laugh at their silly scared faces 


I shall spend my pension on sausages and bread and say I have no money for charity

And when I gain 10 pounds in 2 days, I'll add a leaf of celery to my meals and pat myself on the back

I shall visit my best friend's grave and tell her how I flirted with the young man at the store 

And we shall laugh and snort at how fast his face cringed

I'll tell her how much I miss her but then steal her flowers for my vase at home

she wouldn't need them anyway


But once in a while, I'll be nice 

I'll help the first-time mothers with their chaotic children

maybe even invite the church choir to my home for Easter dinner

And on the really good days, I'll go to the park and return the bicycle I "borrowed"

on these days the kids at the park will be confused and perhaps suspicious when I bring them my home-made cookies (I added chili)


But for now, I guess I'll be well-mannered, wear the right clothes, and say the right words

Be kind and courteous and pretend I care

Knowing deep down I'm counting days to when I'm an old lady and start to wear yellow


With love,
Granny Joy💋


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