Allow me to testify

 

Lately, I've been so anxious about life, finishing school, the job market, going out into the for-real world, our crumbling country, paying taxes, Ruto!! yani life in general. It hit me so bad I could barely sit still. I found myself crying in the middle of classes, withdrawing from my friends, listening to depressing songs and being extremely scared of what the future holds. I listened to a few podcasts and they kept saying 'live in the moment', you know, 'all you have is now', 'you are only 20'. Yes, I know but how do you expect me to just live in the moment when adulting is staring at me dead in the eye? No one tells you how terrifying it is transitioning from a life you've known for almost 4 years to this dark unknown black hole called adulting. Let me tell you guys it's all fun and games until it's not.

After fighting a battle that was never mine to fight in the first place, I brought it to the one who's qualified to fight our battles, my Lord, my Savior,  **drum rolls** Jesus Christ. It was like an aha moment. Why worry when you can take it to God? Like girl come on! I remember that evening I was at the lowest of lows, bottom of the barrel, lowest rung eeei basement of rock bottom and I just broke down. I was so so anxious, I didn't have any words to say to Him. In the midst of my sniffles, blocked nose, and tired heart, all I could think of was "Lord, still my heart". I said it over and over again in my head. I was expecting this peace to engulf my heart or to hear this heavy voice in my head like "Joy, it shall be well, says the Lord". But nothing happened, I felt God was so far away and I was talking to a void. So I did what I do best, I slept. The next day as I was going about my day, a song I've been listening to but never really paid close attention to the lyrics came to mind. Guyssss!!! the words of that song gave me so much peace, I cried... again. I'll link the song down below but here are the words that touched the deepest part of my soul. 

Before I knew my name

before I drew a breath

He was making ways for me

Now and every day, in each and every step 

He is making ways for me

When my heart is full of doubt 

Fells like faith is running out

I've come too far to turn around

I know, 

God will work it out, One thing I know, one thing I've found, God will work it out

(my best part) 

Pushing past the fear

fighting to relief

He is making ways for me

And he won't let me down, never ever leave 

He's still making ways for me

When my heart is full of doubt

It feels like faith is running out

I've come too far to turn around


Be still my soul, be still and know 

Lean in, take hold

In God alone

God will work it out

Let me tell you guys, God, my God loves us so much. I know it's so Christian-cliche-coded but the depths of these words are beyond our understanding. One thing He's been teaching me in this season is that He listens to the whispers of our hearts. He, THE. GOD.OF. THE. UNIVERSE. KNOWS. YOUR. NAME. And He calls you His child!!! Likeeeee!!!! He is the definition of LOVE. We may not know what lies ahead, the future is indeed scary but imagine He is God, He has everything figured out for you and your loved ones. Time and time again He has proven He is in control. So you better believe, He's making a way for you. I pray for anyone who is reading this and is anxious about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, even about your lost earring, may your heart be still, and may He (The Prince of Peace btw) give you so much peace beyond your understanding. Please be encouraged. I love you but He loves you more.


Song: God Will Work It Out ❤️ by Maverick City Music feat. Naomi Raine & Israel Houghton